Monday, March 30, 2015

Part Three: Writing your blurb. Blurb writing 101 for self published authors.

Part one and two have been theory and conception.  In this part, I am going to take my blurb and rip it apart as a learning tool on writing blurbs.



A thousand years ago, Angela was born into a race of warriors with the ability to fly. Recruited at her death to help fulfill a prophecy, she travels through the Gateway to a mechanical future dominated by airships on the edge of war. Now the last of her kind, Angela has been promised a second chance at life, if she plays her part.

Kail has a simple life, and it doesn’t include magic and forgotten prophecies. Magic ruled for centuries, but as it died out a new industry of alchemy and machines rose in its place. After Angela arrives bruised and battered the military follows bringing enemies that Kail didn’t know he had.

As the last of the vanguard mage class, General Therion can pervert magic to do unspeakable things. He wants what Kail possesses at any cost: a birthright of powerful magic that also includes the secrets of the Gateway. If Therion can seize what Kail has, he would have sweeping control over time and even death.


I went with a Character, Character, Conflict format.  The conflict just happens to be another character, but that is fine.  Even a gimmick or inanimate object can be a character.  The Starship Enterprise, or the Stargate can be a character.

Kail is my main character.  I don't start the blurb with him where in most situations I would recommend you do.  However he's not on the cover so I start with Angela.  This is one example of how I lean on the cover.

When you introduce characters, you MUST make them interesting and engaging.  I shake my head at how many authors introduce us to bland, boring, cardboard cutout characters.  If you re-read the first paragraph about Angela, I have a girl from a thousand years ago, who can fight, who can fly, who died, who time traveled and now is the last of her race scraping for a second chance.  Damn if that isn't an interesting character, I don't know what is.  Sure beats "Red-headed Angela helps train and guard young mage Kail."

Under-paid high-school teacher quits job to make meth to pay hospital bills.  I doubt Breaking Bad would have done well with that description.

I can't stress enough how important it is to have engaging characters.  If you do it well, you don't need a gimmick tagline or hook.

In paragraph two, I introduce Kail.  He's the main character of the trilogy.  After Angela's introduction, I went in the opposite direction.  It's minimalist compared to Angela's epic intro.  Kail is our blank slate.  He's our Luke Skywalker who hasn't had a life on the run and a bounty on his head like Han Solo or a banned senator on the run like Leia.  Kail is the character that we follow through the trilogy and get to see grow, develop and change.

I feel this worked well and in the second half of the paragraph, I link in Angela and begin the setup for the conflict that is paragraph three.

In paragraph three, we have our bad guy, he does bad things and it explains why this matters to our characters and it doesn't spoil our book.

Next I want to go over setting.  Each paragraph of my blurb, I have woven in the setting of my book.  Mechanical future, Airships, edge of war.  Paragraph two has Magic, alchemy, machines, military.  And paragraph three has, magic, (general) military title, and time travel.  I prefer to weave the setting through my blurbs, but there is nothing wrong with a dedicated paragraph for setting in your blurb.

Now let's take a moment and go over some of the nitty gritty parts of the blurb.  The blurb, title, cover combinations.  Here is the cover and blurb again so you don't have to scroll up.



A thousand years ago, Angela was born into a race of warriors with the ability to fly. Recruited at her death to help fulfill a prophecy, she travels through the Gateway to a mechanical future dominated by airships on the edge of war. Now the last of her kind, Angela has been promised a second chance at life, if she plays her part.


I use a lot of words that describe the cover and title.  "A thousand years ago."  This goes with the word "Time".  "Angela," girl on the cover.  "Race of warriors," sword in hand.  "Ability to fly," goes with the word "Sky."  Gateway is repeated in the blurb to match the title.  "Mechanical future," goes with the word time and the gear/clockwork on the cover.  "Airships," goes with the word Sky and the image in the background.

If I go back to the movie trailer analogy, the cover is the only visual element you have for a book.  They really need to match.  Both the cover and blurb get stronger this way.

Kail has a simple life, and it doesn’t include magic and forgotten prophecies. Magic ruled for centuries, but as it died out a new industry of alchemy and machines rose in its place. After Angela arrives bruised and battered the military follows bringing enemies that Kail didn’t know he had.

Again, Magic in the blurb, mage int he title.  Centuries is a time word.  Industry and machines match the metal hoop and clockwork.  Angela is here again, drawing back to her image on the cover.  The last sentence draws upon the cover as well by letting us know that there is going to be a lot of action in the story and the girl on the cover looks ready for it.

As the last of the vanguard mage class, General Therion can pervert magic to do unspeakable things. He wants what Kail possesses at any cost: a birthright of powerful magic that also includes the secrets of the Gateway. If Therion can seize what Kail has, he would have sweeping control over time and even death.

Mage and magic match the title.  Gateway is repeated as is the word time.  Every paragraph draws heavily upon what a customer sees in the cover.

The cover by itself is good.  The blurb by itself is good.  Together as a whole, they are much better than separate.

There is much much more to writing a good blurb than writing a product description or following the example on the back of a book on your shelf.

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